A story by Jonathan Henshaw - SnorthDesand220@mindspring.com

(in a room of noisy kids) Settle down class!(everyone silences) We will now start arithmetic.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Shut-up! (everyone is quiet) We will start division.

O.K.

fine (Blackout)

OK! Arithmetic is done for today.

YAYYYYYYYYY!(keeps yelling over teacher)

SHUT-UP! (silence for 3 seconds)

Yes, Alex?

Can I go to the bathroom?

NO!

But I neeeeeed to!

I said NO!

(raises hand)

What is it, Jonny?

Can I use the lavatory?

Yes, you may.

(raises hand)

What do you want you for god saken stupid child!

Can I go to the lavatory?

no, you may not. WOULD YOU LIKE TO REPHRASE THAT?

Um, yeah. Can I use the lavatory?

no you may not go until Jonny comes back. (15 seconds of nothing, and then Jonny comes back in stage right)

Did I miss anything?

No secretes!

Just telling Jonny what hap-

Go to the lavatory, Alex!

Yes.(Alex moves to the edge of the stage, but bumps back, because he is waving by-bye to Jonny, and he runs into the door)

Try opening the door, Alex.

(Alex finally gets out the door)

Well, it's snack time!

We don't know your name, you're a sub'.

I am not a 'sub'' I am a Substitute. Mrs. Gronchnickle is at a meeting at another school. And my name is Mr. Gronchnickle. I am your regular teacher's husband.

Is there something you would like to share with us, Jonny?

I was wondering if you had the same personality as your husband.

I only wanted an answer to my question. And no, I do not have the same sick sense of humor my wife has.

Andriana, do you not have any snack?

No, I forgot to pack one.

Jonny, give one of your cookies to Adriana.

No thanks, I don't like chocolate.

Eat it!

Pushy, pushy, pushy, pushy, puoushee! (Adriana pretends to eat the Oreo. she breaks it into parts and throws them behind her head like she were popping them in her mouth.)

Snack time is over!

But I didn't get to eat! And I finally got my twinkies!

do not comp-

Who are you anyway, you're a sub!

I am not a 'sub'' I am a Substitute. Mrs. Gronchnickle is at a meeting at another school. And my name is Mr. Gronchnickle. I am your regular teacher's husband. It is time for social studies. We will be talking about Caesar.

Wasn't he that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?

No. That is Leonardo Da Vinci. Which you will talk about next week.

Wasn't he the guy that went around the world in 1492?

No, that is Columbus, which you talked about last year, I believe.

Wasn't Caesar that guy who wanted to take over the world or something?

Yes, you are correct. Now, Caesar was a Roman..... (blackout)

Social Studies is finished. It is now spelling time.

Yaaaay!

Alex, spell antidisestablishmentarienisim

a-n-t-i-d-i-s-e-s-t-a-b-l-i-s-h-m-e-n-t-a-r-i-e-i-s-i-m

Incorrect. You missed the 'n' at the end.

Darn!

Jonny, spell exploring.

e-x-p-l-o-r-i-n-g

correct. Andrea spell Batc-

How come you dump all the hard stuff on me? Huh? Huh? Huh? Tell me! 'Cause I'm really pissed, and my mom can sue you 'cause she's a lawyer!

You mean a liar.

No, a lawyer!

okay. Jonny, that did not count. Spell me Brachiasourous

B-r-a-c-h-e-a-s-o-u-r-o-u-s.

Incorrect. You put an e when an I was needed. Andrea, spell me Haghlelulia

H-a-g-h-l-e-l-u-l-i-a

Correct. Now spelling is finished. It is Recess time!

Thank god!

Jeez lawease.

Finally, a break from this teacher. (blackout) (scene changes to the playground, where Jonny and Alex are angry at Adriana, and are deciding how to get her for being the only one to have an easy word in the spelling test.)

At home my dad has a rifle, and tomorrow I could come with it, and shoot her.

No! We're not looking to kill her!

We could... We could.... Um, we could.... We could switch rotten homework with her perfect stuff!

That's a good idea, but when would either of us switch it?

That is a little flaw.

I know, we could push her off the jungle gym!

Great idea! Let's go! (blackout) (Adriana is on a raised platform representing the jungle gym. The boys get on, and slightly push Adriana when she is near the edge. Adriana screams, and there is a blackout before you can see any falling of any sort)

Adriana was pushed off the jungle gym. She landed on her head, and it snapped off her neck. Alex and Jonny had killed her. They ran away, never to be seen again.